journal 1

It's Thursday ; and I'm back from a huge university tour !Seems a hard day but no...It was fine , taking long walks with a good friend - what does someone want more? -

I'm in the middle of my exams , and the snow is helping not to finish 'em on time .

Today , I talked about Iran with my friend , which I thought i would not find any chance to talk about it . I really wanted to talk about Ramsar more , my best place in the whole world! Where -as my dad said to me once - it's the only place in our country that sea can make love to the mountains whenever it wants .... Isn't that lovely ? I mean , think about it for a minute . (I'm thinking about it much more than a minute) . I wanted to talk about all days which i wanted to talk and i chose silence ! And i did , pretty much!

It's cold . Damn cold outside -inside too actually- I'm freezing all the time , I do love my socks! My woollen pants , and gosh....my jacket , which i call "macaronni" . (maybe i'll tell u why:D)

What I want now , is just sleep in my bed , write my diary - which i haven't found any good time for weeks , and i have so much to write - and i want to think about it !"IT" is what i haven't chosen a name for, it's this wierd feeling that i have for 3 weeks ago...maybe after that bloody saturday , or... I don't know ! I just want to feel free that I can think of everything I can .

I had this awkward dream about one of my friends two weeks ago , he was wearing this green shirt and i saw him telling my about the bloody saturday....Then somedays later , i dreamt about me , having the same conversation with him , and the wierd part is that I was crying too hard! I mean real hard , so that my dad came to my room and woke me up , and I was shouting names , and crying out loud . My nose-bleeding didn't stop for 30 minutes . After that I had a horrible headache , and finally I threw-up !

I will not be such a wuss...no more!

elinA