Addiction

He's drinking lately . Drinking more than ever . I always hated when he drinks . His hands are shaking all the time , he doesn't stop yelling at me . Once I thought he can kill me if he wants , but let's hope not . When he's out of control . I run away . Then , u can find me in my most favorite café , which I have so many good memories in . They say you have to tolerate …but I can't . I just can't . Come on . What's wrong with you people ?! Why should I bear him?!
When he drinks , his hands are shaking . Starts insulting all the loved ones . Yelling . Going crazy . That's the time I practice my whole hard cryings . No sound . No voice .I go to bathroom . Light some candles , have my music , then I just soak in the hot water , and wish . I dream . I dream about all the things that I want and I don't have it at the moment . I start to make stories.
I can write a novel about his days .
Chapter one :
" I got up , I got drunk , I passed out . "
Chapter two :
" I got up , I got drunk , I passed out . "
Chapter three :
" I got up , I got drunk , I passed out . "
The END .
Then , he goes to sleep in the most pathetic way …. What is left is just me . When he wakes up …everything is forgotten , he doesn't remember anything , and that's when I am the actress . I pretend that nothing had happened . I smile , making jokes . But deep down I know that 24 hours from this moment , I will find him searching for his bottles , crawling from his bed to kitchen . Screaming at me…. And I hate it !
P.S. Couples of nights before , chatting with a friend he was naming people , and had no idea that's all true .
No one can help .